"We have so much time and so little to do. Strike that, reverse it." -- Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory



Oh my, our little dog "Bing" the Border Terrier has just eaten a pound of Toblorone chocolate while I was out on a run. The children don't seem alarmed; although they did pick up the wrappers... Thanks guys! And now my husband has gone off screaming like a g--l about the dog dying and it being all my fault on account of my weakness for chocolate.

"Whoah Nelly," I think to myself, "I am going to have to handle animal emergencies much worse than this soon enough, and let's face it, I don't want to have to foot the vet bill every time. I can do this -- at least I can try! Heck, I'd better be able to -- in less than a year I'll be birthing cria with a catcher's mitt. Right?"

Why the type of chocolate should matter, to this moment I haven't a clue. I do know, however, from reading a recent New Scientist article, that cacao beans are deadly to dogs. They apparently don't have the genes to process the stuff -- poor dears!

The receptionist kindly instructs me to "induce vomiting" by making Bing "ingest" 2-3 Tablespoons of Hydrogen Peroxide. Thankfully, we have some on hand but no, funny how she didn't manage to outline how one forces their pup to "ingest" peroxide! Now here is how I envision the proceedure: 1) catch dog, 2) hold dog, 3) make dog drink what dog doesn't want to drink, 4) rock dog midly for good measure, 5) get dog outside, and finally 6) watch dog vomit. Piece of cake, right? Is it ever?

So I ask my dear husband and partner in life to help me catch Bing, "I don't want a kidney, Dear, I just want you to hold the d-mn dog while I force this peroxide down his throat!" Needless to say, I am on my own...

Catch, dose and release -- ahh, here is where I manage to miss a critical step as previously envisioned, and I release Bing not outside -- but into the house -- and now we have chocolate-smelling dog vomit all over the joint. Talk about lessons learned! Well, at least Bing is safe.

Here is to greater, more pleasant (if less sweet smelling) adventures in the New Year!

A Helpful Link ~ What to do if your Dog Eats Chocolate